


You’re crazy if you think I could ever love you

by clarkegriffvn



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Ableist Language, Angst, I wrote this because I hate happiness :), M/M, Self-Hatred, just the use of the word crazy as an insult, sarcasm btw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-16
Updated: 2015-07-16
Packaged: 2018-04-09 14:06:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4351769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clarkegriffvn/pseuds/clarkegriffvn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s been six days since Miller said “I love you.”</p>
<p>It’s been six days since Monty tried to explain to Miller why he couldn’t. Miller couldn’t love him, it wasn’t safe. Monty was a monster. He destroys everything he touches. Six days since Monty last spoke to Miller.</p>
<p>When Miller tried to talk to him at the fire pits, Monty got up and left. When Miller cornered him at the engineering tents, he ignored him until he gave up and left. When his friends told him Miller was looking for him, he shrugged and said nothing. Whenever Monty saw Miller walk towards him, he turned in the opposite direction. He didn’t try to be subtle, didn’t attempt causality. He needed Miller to get the message: <em>stay away from me.</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	You’re crazy if you think I could ever love you

**Author's Note:**

> prompted by @bellumy-blake on tumblr

It’s been four months since Monty killed hundreds of innocent people. 

It’s been three months since Monty and Miller started seeing each other. 

It’s been six days since they last kissed. Six days since Miller said “ _I love you.”_

It’s been six days since Monty tried to explain to Miller why he couldn’t. Miller couldn’t love him, it wasn’t safe. Monty was a monster. He destroys everything he touches. Six days since Monty last spoke to Miller.

When Miller tried to talk to him at the fire pits, Monty got up and left. When Miller cornered him at the engineering tents, he ignored him until he gave up and left. When his friends told him Miller was looking for him, he shrugged and said nothing. Whenever Monty saw Miller walk towards him, he turned in the opposite direction. He didn’t try to be subtle, didn’t attempt causality. He needed Miller to get the message:  _stay away from me._

But he didn’t listen. After six days of evasion, Miller shows up at Monty’s tent.

Monty, hunched over his work desk on a wooden stool, stares up at the figure in his doorway, wondering if he’s hallucinating. Miller’s shadow stands between the tent flaps, a ghostly apparition, hesitating in the dancing light of the sunset behind him.

“Do you love me?”

Hallucinations don’t speak that convincingly. Monty blinks and stands up from his chair. Miller shifts on his feet, a beam of light filling the space and shining in Monty’s eyes. Monty looks down at the ground, any words he could say caught in his throat. 

“Monty, just… one word. Please, I need to know for sure,” Miller begs. “Do you love me?”

When Miller repeats the question, Monty feels the urge to scream. His teeth grit painfully, and he swallows the idea. Monty takes a breath and looks up, into Miller’s eyes. They’re honest and open; vulnerable. Monty flinches like he’s been hurt. 

_Look how scared he is,_ his inner voice hisses ruthlessly. _He knows you’re a monster, he’s seen it. Hah! You thought you could hide it, that you could actually change! Pathetic._

Miller is everything Monty wants, and everything he can’t have. Miller can’t know how he feels, or it’ll ruin everything. Monty will ruin him, just like everything else he touches. 

Monty opens his mouth to snap the neck of the silence.

“Don’t you understand!? Just… just go,” he throws the words like fire out of his mouth. His stomach rolls at the burn they leave on his tongue. 

“Are you sure?” Miller’s voice is on the verge of cracking. Monty feels something inside him tear a little more. 

Monty clenches his fists and turns so his back is to Miller, staring darkly at their shadows together on the tent wall. _M_ _ake him leave,_ the voice says urgently. If he wants Miller to leave, he has to make Miller hate him. At least then Miller will be safe from him. He needs to keep Miller safe, at whatever cost.

Reaching into his lungs, Monty gathers up the hate that clings there like black smoke, gathers all the anger he has towards himself to put fire into his words. “You’re crazy if you think I could ever love you,” he spits. 

There’s a sharp intake of breath, and Monty braces everything in his body as he hears Miller leave. The tent flaps flutter like a dying bird, and Monty feels a single tear fall down his cheek. 

_It’s done. He’s gone._ Tears stream down Monty’s cheeks, a river, a flood. A sob lurches to his throat, stumbles out his mouth as his body collapses onto the ground.

_Monsters don’t get the boy,_ Monty reminds himself through the tears.  _They die, and the story ends._

**Author's Note:**

> send me more prompts on tumblr, any ship! @clarkegriffvn


End file.
